Pen is sick of trying to live up to everyone's expectations. No she doesn't want to be a boy, but she's not entirely sure she wants to be a girl if that means wearing skirts and just being what everyone wants her to be.
The Poppy War
Rin is a war-orphan, destined for nothing more than to be married off by her opium-peddling guardians in order to advance their business. But then she aces the Keju – the Empire-wide test to find the most talented youth to learn at the Academies – and works her way into the most prestigious military Academy, Sinegard. With war brewing on the horizon, Rin’s acceptance into the academy is only the beginning especially when she learns that the ancient powers of shamanism aren’t so ancient after all, and that Rin has an uncanny aptitude for them…