Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

Are There Lesbians? Yes

What Happens?
A remake of a 1996 film but with no actual plot similarities (Like all good remakes). Leah (Leila George) is dating Pearl (Emily Meade) who reveals that she is a Night Walker and that the rest of the Lesbian Vampires want to make Leah into a Vampire because Pearl killed one of them prior to becoming a vampire herself. I think.

The Verdict:
First of all – JAMES FRANCO AND TORI SPELLING WHY ARE YOU ON THE POSTER YOU GUYS HAVE BIT PARTS!!! OK, onto the review!

Since watching Mother May I Sleep with Danger for the first time on Tuesday evening I have told almost everyone I know to watch this delightfully b grade movie. That’s how much I love it. The first half was certainly enhanced by the delightful commentary The GF provided and I can highly recommend the interactive experience yelling at the tv screen provides while watching this movie.

The vampires are wonderfully “goffik”, and it’s great watching the big “I’m a Night Walker” reveal happen only to be met with “the fucks a Night Walker???” Because honestly, it does sound like you’re just admitting you’re a prostitute and if you clarify by saying “i’m a vampire” maybe you should have just lead with that? The best part of this movie is, naturally, that almost everyone is a lesbian, there are six whole lesbians in this movie and three (maybe four, it’s unclear) are evil, giving us the all important “Lesbian Vampires” plot. Because that’s it, that’s the plot.

(mmm aesthetic)*

But seriously, what plot Mother May I… has, is, arguably  pretty tenuous. There’s something in there about true love which is cute but you’re left feeling that there’s a wider vampire circle of life that continues to happen. Character’s affiliation changes at the drop of a hat – at a few points you’re rooting for the lesbian vampires because they’re going after creepy date-rape guys but the next minute they’re threatening our main girl and have adopted the guy who drugged her? When this happened The GF was outraged that they dropped their lesbian avenger aesthetic but I was mostly annoyed by the fact that he suddenly seems to be their leader. We were both annoyed that he got hot as a vampire (yknow in a sickly, eyeliner kinda way… forgive me for I am trash).

(I’m so mad right now)*

There’s also some backstory about Leah’s father getting shot and her mother worries about how this will affect her but… that’s really it. It’s only mentioned to explain why there’s no father, it has no real bearing on the actual plot whatsoever.

One of the main plot points does revolve around a production of Macbeth which I would totally pay to see.

(I refuse to be kinkshamed for this)**

Not only is is wonderfully over the top and gothic but our main girl plays Macbeth with a pretty interesting audition. Not to’ mention the play is apparently directed by a rather oblivious James Franco. It’s pretty great and the showdown between Macduff and Macbeth allows for an awesome sword fight between “” and Bob, the Nice Guy™ with a stupid name who’s only in it because he thought she was auditioning for Lady Macbeth. Sucks to be you Bob.

On this note, Mother May I… is absolutely rife with intertextuality – Leah takes a class which appears to be about the supernatural and sexuality in classical literature, and i’m telling you, if they offered that class at my uni I would be taking it in the drop of a hat.

(You know it’s gonna be a good class when that’s written on the board)**

Of course this makes it immediately clear that vampirism is probably supposed to be a metaphor for… something. Still not sure a what as it’s definitely not posed as a homosexual threat – in fact there’s no judgement of sexuality passed at all by the gods of the movie, and the only people who truly suffer are the immovable heterosexuals and those who ignore consent. So maybe it’s all a date rape metaphor. It’s hard to tell.

(this scene was unnecessary but oh so necessary)**

“But wait!” You say, “With a large homosexual cast, something’s gotta give! Surely at least the bad guys die!“ Nope. Although it does look as if they are for a few moments which prompted The GF into saying “does it count as bury your gays if they’re technically already dead?” but then they ended up not being dead anyway! Overall only three people die in this movie, which gives it a pretty low death-rate for even the mild horror movie that it is. Only one of those is queer and it honestly does drive the plot! Well, what plot there is that seems somewhat coherent.

Mother May I Sleep With Danger is a wonderful train wreck of a movie. You simply must watch it.

 

*http://www.autostraddle.com/mother-may-i-sleep-with-danger-is-the-best-movie-i-have-ever-seen-342436/

**http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5480528/?ref_=tt_mv_close

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